deviant ART

As many of you know my rewarding non-DA career is teaching Autistic children. A very rewarding job filled with a lot of great perks, however one does need to possess the patience of a saint some days. Now very few things make me angry to the point of wanting to go on a homicidal rampage, but those things that do are very near and dear to my heart. Case in point. Recently while working with one of my kiddos the kid got something wrong on one of the drills we were doing and the kid looked right at me and said, "I'm sorry I'm stupid." Now not only did this hurt me by the fact that the kid said that, knew what it meant and abstracted it to the current situation, but it also angered me like no other because this little one obviously heard it from someone else in reference to himself. These kids are not dumb or stupid or unintelligent in any way and it really Pisses me off to know that there are people out there so ignorant and short sided as to think that these kids are. These kids are not dumb, they have there own set of problems that they are trying to work through. When I heard this little one say that I wanted to go into the parents and rip them a new asshole, literally and figuratively. It just shows that the truly stupid people are the ignorant ones. Thank you for reading this rant.

To every guy that's said, "Sex can wait."
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town (or across the state) to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.
To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that did what she wanted to do.
To every guy that cried in front of her.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.
To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car.
To every guy that wasn't just trying to get laid.
To every guy that gave his heart.
To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.

Hey all just wanting to let everyone know I had an epiphany. Yes it hurt for all those smartasses out there. Anyway, I am now taking requests for stock poses and the like. I have been an art model for a couple of years and I know what I am doing. Keep in mind I am a large imposing man. If you want to drop me a request and I will do it as soon as possible.

Well, I have decided to go after my doctorate... it's going to be a long hard journey but I will be a Jewish Grandmothers dream. However it will cost $145,000 spread out over five years. I will be Dr. Hayward PhD B.C.B.A L.P. I am doing this for the letters I want 15 by the end of all this. I have found my own inner peace and happiness and have decided that some people just aren't worth the effort. No matter how you try and no matter what you do you will never be good enough. That's okay by me. I have a close system of friends that back me up whenever I need it. I deserve much better then what I was handed and will get it in time. Everything will fall into place like it should and my true love, whomever she is, will show up I just have to have patience. I'm still young and one thing I have is time. There are people I miss and always will miss, especially because I got the raw end in most cases, but as my mom said "It's time to move on Billy." As for my mom, God bless mothers by the way, she is trolling for girls at the place she works for me. It's so funny, I couldn't help but laugh my fool head off when I heard that. But life is ok. My best friend is coming to visit me and I have faith that everything will work out in time. Things are coming together just as I see them happening. Now I just play the waiting game. To all my DA friends (Demonic intuition my Aussie Beauty, Hanratty my British bombshell and My big ol' ball of crazy Tumnus) Thank you.

I have a new little buddy which I should be posting pics of soon. His name is Fred, because Fred is a very good name for an Americanized Chinese Water Dragon. He is the coolest little guy ever... tee hee...